Saturday, May 5, 2012

I GET to be here and do THIS!

"I think of it only a couple hundred times a year, that single wide-eyed night by the bed of one of our sons in the pediatric wing of a city hospital.  The moaning of babes, the crying of sick children, the murmur of nurses with grim prognoses on lips and morphine in hand, these haunted through the endless hours.  I did not sleep, the pain of that place begging me to pray.  After our son was given the thumbs-up and the signature of release, I came home to bedrooms and bathrooms and kitchen and fridge and windows and unmerited, luxurious health and I threw up my arms in giddy gratitude.  Here?  This place?  Surprise!  I was a woman who saw what her life could well have been, a woman who didn't live by a deathbed or in a refugee camp or a war zone or the rubble of an earthquake.  I laughed at the surprise of dishes in my sink and the wild surprise of turning on the stove to boil water and I swished toilet and I was healthy and I got to be here and do this!  And things but forty-eight hours prior I entirely took for granted --even rather half resented as flawed and less than -- I spun around:  All surprising grace!  And there has not been a single night the nearly ten years since, that my son and I haven't whispered in bedside prayers for those who cry out in the dark, for we witnessed and we remember and we will always carry...

Is it only when our lives are emptied that we're surprised by how truly full our lives were?" -Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

I had wrestled between household chores or reading outside for a bit.  Glad I chose to pause and read, for now I have a better perspective on the ordinary. (or the extraordinary, depending on how ya look at it!)

1 comment: